N

Nature. Nurture.

Faults were not mine to begin with.
Everything turns mundane after awhile.
I stood tall only to be defeated by feelings.
I'm hearing you but I'm not listening well enough.
Don't I have the right to take a turn.
Do I hurt till it's enough or do I will it to stop.

M

Memories. Magic.

Why does everything seems frustrating to me.
Once broken it can't be fixed not even the lightest touch of love dust.
Fairy tale doesn't exist for people like me.
Dreams will turn to a nightmare.
And nothing is going right.
What feels so wrong delights the darkest part you.
Catching every piece or fragments that can never match you, but in return, it will only hurt you even more.

L

Love. life.

One of two that Im incapable of doing.
I'm a failure and such an embarrassment to my own kind.
To feel the joy and creating moments that won't fade.
To know or to have a significant other and enjoy the simple things in life.
But that's impossible cause I'm complicated that way.
Cherish what you have till it's gone sounds so cliche right about now.
But what do I have when I own nothing.

K

Kindness. Knowledge.

What's the use of having the brains without beauty.
Or beauty without brains.
Well I may not have heard all the insults in the book but I'm subjected to it.
Why is so hard to voice out your feelings and thoughts without being ridiculed.
Spending moments under criticism and barely getting out alive.
It's eating me alive and I see no way out.

J

Joy. Justification.

How many times does it take to jump start THE career of your dreams.
How often are we jailbirds to our very own ambitions.
I don't see a reason to smile over something that could never happen.
Often, or rather most of the times, I am lost and trapped in my own bubble.
I can't expand on the thought of living the wonderful life.

I

Integrity. Interests.

Was there anything worth implementing.
I wish I had a time where it was the day that could have changed the rest  of my life.
But of course in reality it doesn't work out for someone like me.
Then there is that fantastic idea that has been in your mind day in and day out but nothing has changed.
What could have been interesting to capture my attention to change the course I'm living.

H

Hope. Heart

Harness your skills. Harvest your talents.
But i do that all in vain only to watch go to waste.
Fulfill your purpose in life they say but i cant.
I don't see a need to accomplish things that will be buried in the end.
I can never see myself at the end of my list.
Well how can i when i could never start it in the first place.

G

Gift. Grateful.

How can I give thanks when all I've done is complain about my not so great of a life.
This is more than a game and I'm fighting my own battles.
But how do I win when all I ever see is surrendering before it ends.
Letting others have it their way.
I know it's gone too far and I have the power to stop it but I can't.
I do not want to fight this kind of war.
I am my own enemy.

F

Fate. Feelings.

What have I done in my past life to deserve all of this.
Was it to lead to my own destruction.
Or a life that I can never look back upon and reminisce.
My path in life was designed to make one hell of a living.
Shadows engulf me in every corner of my dreams and desires.
I crash and burn just like the tidal waves.
Everything within grasp vanishes into thin air.
Moments of reality spiral down unconsciously.
But of course it leaves me with nothing but despair.

E

Embrace. Empowerment.

Why are we the socially inferior group.
Is this a reason why bullies do the things they do.
Why is it easy for them to get away with it.
While we, we are stuck with the situation.
Well, I do not want to be popular.
Just want to be that someone people seek for.
Be it a companion or listening ear.
Anything to make them feel important and special.

D

Dreams. Desires.

Why do we love the things we love.
Or why do we do the things we do.
Why is it so hard to part with it.
The distance we'd go just to achieve them.
What dangers lies ahead or do we choose to ignore it.
Why is it easier for others while we struggle so hard for success.
Is it because we are not good enough and failing is the best thing we could do.
Is it a sign we must heed and learn to let go.
Or do we just charge on to find a better ending.
Or is it just not for me.
The destiny that will bring me to my uncertain future beats me.
Maybe I'm just lost and confused after all.

C

Creative. Compassion.

You are often praised by others but always looked down upon by the people you're close to.
How can one bring such joy and pain at the same time.
Ultimately losing confidence in the future.
Its hard to shake off these feelings but I can't help it.
Letting it manifest into fear and failure.

B

Beauty. Bravery.

Clearly our definitions of pretty are totally different.
Is it hard to visualize something out of nothing.
Are our imaginations too wild to follow.
What does it take to be called beautiful.
Well I don't know.
I'm afraid to express all my inner thoughts.
So hiding behind a screen and writing it down seems easier.
Ambitions become nothing but the past.
Just like every dream and aspiration I once held and had.

It started with A

Acceptance. Appearance.
Why do we try so hard to fit into society's standard of beauty.
Isn't it hard enough that we're living life as it is.
To be told that you aren't good enough is bad.
I'm happy to be me but all this while you're just bringing me down.
Taking another shot at my non existent self esteem.
Truth to be told, I've lost it all.
You said it one too many times and I started believing it.
I'm just not good enough for you.