Uncertain

Whatever happen to youth is draining us out bit by bit
You question the actions, the thoughts and you in general
It either advances or gets pushed aside
I can't help to think what is holding me back
"What if"... there it is again
I think i know the answer but i will uncover it for that matter

Light me up

How can something bad be so addictive
The sensation you feel once it hits you
To leave a foul taste but still wanting more
Watch it goes up and vivid colors turns to ash grey
A cloud rise above you and then disappears
Is it all that satisfying, i wonder

Distress

How did we manage to let it fall apart
Was it i who held it too strong for too long
Or you for letting it slip under your tight grasp
Maybe we were using it loosely
What had once involve all emotions, feelings and senses
Became the downfall of it all in the end
Does really come down to fate and stories written about us
Were you just someone i met along the stump to make me a stronger me
I may not have experienced it all i guess

Crime scene

What i would give to have half of what you are
I know we are all not born perfect
But sadly others do have it better.. than well the rest of us
The lack of "It" factor is what boggles me
One look and im washed away by defeat and despair
But there are a handful who gets desperate and does the unthinkable
Not a makeover but a murder

Regrets

I cannot undo my past and therefore it would be forever etched in my memories
They say there is no use crying over spilled milk
But isn't it good to let go for once
They say it could help in character building
But how could i, when i am no longer able to look forward
As i've said before, what ifs are infinite
And there couldn't be any definitive answer to it

mirror

I can have me staring back me and still have not figured it out
What life is suppose to mean
Which direction should i be taking
But i can't because im still drowning in my own fantasies
Focus and attention was never a problem until now
It is not the sinking feeling that i get
Its the hopelessness in all that i see

Heart locked down

I have protected myself with these invisible wings of mine
For i am not willing to give what is there left to it, even if its someone like you, my dear
I have build these walls so high
Only for it to be stripped away brick by brick
For i have not learnt well
Feelings so raw that i can never to possess
Not allowed this proximity or anxiety between us
I am void of human contact
And maybe never will i feel that ever

Shrouded

Someone once told me that we're all born different
We can't all be chasing the same dreams wanting the same thing
But i can't help it if i'm falling behind
I still can't see a clear path straight ahead of me
All i know is my own future is bleak
Clouded, hidden behind these shadows that will never seem to go away

Killer Instinct

What makes them different
Are they really innocent with something sinister lurking inside
The lies, the deception and of course the act
How could they deny and sit through looking fine, calm and collected
Fabricating stories and believe it as the truth
Have we rewired ourselves to trust in our instinct
What could drive us over the edge
To commit something we shun away in society

Lost

We all have this thing called emotions and feelings that will hit us like a tidal wave
We are highly affected by issues that does not concern us and we wonder why
Call me sensitive or even better, a woman
But how often do we not act that age and start taking things seriously
For someone who is inexperienced where do i get the courage to take charge
My confidence has been shot down
And my self - esteem has been buried deep enough not to recovered
No its not about having trust issues, it is the lack of having one with a significant other
Simple can be complicated once im involved

Romance

Do i really have to travel all over the world to know if The One really exists me
Because i am so ready to close this chapter in my life
I am getting tired of cooking up images of my future with some stranger
These fantasies and romanticization should not happen
Not at this age where time is slowly slipping out my grip
I know i cannot control my fate
But my destiny would be different if i will it

Reality in 2015

Do we ever feel guilt by thinking that justice got served

Lets not involve our race, religion or gender

Humanity and society plays a part too

They manage to implant all these thoughts and ideas

We have forgotten that the greatest pleasure in life does not come in the form of a gadget

We do have countries and people still living in medieval times

They do not have the latest technology or access to the world wide web

Its us who are doing the damage

We condone and we support but its never enough 

Things have been going on for years but with the help of social media and whatnot

We are getting information and forming false beliefs no thanks to spin doctors

Why are we harming ourselves by spreading hate

Once the blaming game starts and it will never end 

It will still come down to "he did that first" or "they said it first"

Yes i am hypocrite because i cant be taking sides

It is wrong yet it somehow affects me

Bringing religion into the picture is another story

People do tend to forget about the "Real" history

All you've learnt so far are political history

It was no thanks to <insert country> for dividing diversified nations/countries

Creating political boundaries is straining a lot of laws and rules 

And you wonder why some are still at war

It wasn't just one country but a handful

A new year to sad beginnings 

 

New and old

A couple of days have passed and nothing has changed.
I've said this over and over again.
Its a new year, a new me.
But how often do we fall into the same pattern.
A habit that could be both good or bad.
Something we can never shake off.
I have a problem with committing myself to a project or even crafts.
But this year has to change, it has to be different.
I can see that my life will amount to nothing in the end.
Writing would be one that i will try to do regularly.
Then again all the uncertainties of "what ifs" will appear.
No more of that nonsense.
I'm not getting any younger nor am i getting any wiser.  
I'm at a crossroad with myself.